As a fencer, I make a good date rapist

I had a good evening of fencing tonight, managing to beat the coach in a match by a score of 5 to 2. That doesn't mean I consider myself a master swashbuckler, though; I've got pretty decent strength, endurance, and quickness, but these assets are also weaknesses to be exploited.

I was explaining this to an ex-girlfriend. "My problem," I said, "is that I'm fairly unsubtle and I come on too strong."

"Yeah, that sounds like you all right," she agreed.