TTC rider, just see what you've done

Last night, I was telling a friend about the TTC Rider Efficiency Guide. I figured it'd be up her alley, as she's the sort who hates the crowds on the subway so much that she takes the 97 Yonge bus instead, which takes longer but is less crowded. That strategy is in fact specifically mentioned in the site's list of Unorthodox Tips for Riding the TTC, so I figured she might like to see what else is there. You might too.

I have a few tips on the subject myself. Let me add three more based on today's trip home.

First, low-floor buses suck. They have far fewer seats, and more of the seats they do have are sideways. (Sideways seats suck because jerks put their feet up on them, and also because you get jerked from side to side when sitting in them.) I really didn't mind climbing up and down those two extra steps to get on and off. And if you're less able-bodied, is it an improvement not to have to climb up those steps to get on if you have to stand throughout your trip because you can't find a seat? If you are the head of the local transit commission, please don't buy any more low-floor buses.

Second, if you're commuting by bus from Mississauga to the subway, you have a couple of options. You can get off at the intersection of Dundas Street and Aukland Road and walk down a block to Kipling Station, as the girl sitting in front of me did. Or you can just stay on until the end of the line and get on the subway at Islington Station, as I did. When I sat down on the subway, who was sitting across from me? The girl who had been sitting in front of me on the bus. So there's no real advantage to getting off at Kipling. It doesn't allow you to steal a march on the rest of the suckers on the bus, and it doesn't even allow you to avoid the creepy guy sitting behind you for very long.

And third, don't be like the guy who got on when she got off, the guy with the sunglasses who was stretching his legs out and putting his feet up on his cooler as though it were an ottoman. For one thing, wearing sunglasses on the subway makes you look like a douchebag. Seriously, dude, you're underground. There's no sun. Knock off the too-cool-for-school act. And for another thing, don't stretch your legs out and put your feet up on your cooler as though it were an ottoman. That definitely makes you a douchebag.