Your Oscar host, Chris

I try never to watch the Oscars. I fail at this sometimes, but even if I do accidentally watch some of the show, rest assured I mock it relentlessly enough that no one else in the room can enjoy it. But I thought of something that would make watching this year's edition awesome:

I'd love to see Chris Rock host half the program. And then they could come back from commercial, and Chris Tucker could walk onstage and introduce the next presenter. Just make an unacknowledged switch of hosts, and have Tucker do the rest of the show, acting like he'd been there all along.

I suspect it might actually take a lot of the audience quite a while to pick up on this. They might feel a nagging sense of something being not quite right without being able to put their finger on what it was.

And if this turned out to the case, it'd be worth it for Rock to do it just for the material on the racism surrounding much of America's inability to tell one motormouthed black Chris from another. As for Tucker, he should just do it for the exposure; doing virtually nothing for five years between Rush Hours 2 and 3 shows a surprisingly commendable commitment to not doing just any old Hollywood dreck, but he's in danger of falling off the map.