Friday, July 15, 2005

Happy birthday, Satch

Today's celebrity birthdays, according to 24 Hours:

  • Singer Linda Ronstadt is 59.
  • Drummer Marky Ramone (The Ramones) is 49.
  • Guitarist Joe Satriani is 49.
  • Actor-director Forest Whitaker is 44.
  • Actress Brigitte Neilsen is 42.
  • Actor Brian Austin Green is 32.
    • Here's what I find interesting about this list: They had various possiblities for the obligatory celebrity headshot that accompanies it. For example, they could have gone with a photo of Linda Ronstadt from the late 60s to mid-70s, when she was one of the most deliciously cute women ever. Scientology be damned -- she was the only L. Ron I could ever get into worshipping. But instead, they went with rock instrumentalist Satriani, who's only really a cult hero to guitar shredders.

      It raises the interesting proposition that 24 Hours may in fact be published from an alternate universe in which good ol' Satch's technical wizardry somehow made him an internationally known superstar -- or, at least, more of a household name than that dork from 90210 and that big blonde cougar who inexplicably hooked up with Flavor Flav on The Surreal Life 3.


      Anonymous Matt said...

      "Scientology be damned -- she was the only L. Ron I could ever get into worshipping."

      Argh! Damn you!

      7/18/2005 03:39:00 PM  
      Anonymous Chuck Von Chuck said...

      “Scientology be damned -- she was the only L. Ron I could ever get into worshipping.”

      Jesus pole dancing Christ, Lynn.

      7/18/2005 06:47:00 PM  
      Blogger Peter Lynn said...

      Look at this. Now look at this.

      I rest my case.

      7/18/2005 07:07:00 PM  
      Anonymous Anonymous said...

      I'll rest your case!

      - Mr. Cameron

      7/18/2005 08:18:00 PM  
      Anonymous Matt said...

      Also: Agh! Killer bees!

      7/19/2005 11:56:00 AM  
      Anonymous Anonymous said...

      C'mon... Satriani's more than just a set of chops. He was creative once upon a time.

      7/19/2005 08:43:00 PM  
      Blogger Peter Lynn said...

      Hey, I used to be a big fan myself!

      Of course, I never could look at him the same way after the courts ordered him to shave his head in penance for raping Eric Johnson with a curling iron during the 1996 G3 tour.

      7/19/2005 09:32:00 PM  
      Anonymous Chuck Von Chuck said...

      Wait, Linda Ronstadt was hot once? Wow... Way to blow my mind, Lynn...

      7/19/2005 10:50:00 PM  

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