Happy birthday, Satch

Today's celebrity birthdays, according to 24 Hours:

Singer Linda Ronstadt is 59.

Drummer Marky Ramone (The Ramones) is 49.

Guitarist Joe Satriani is 49.

Actor-director Forest Whitaker is 44.

Actress Brigitte Neilsen is 42.

Actor Brian Austin Green is 32.

Here's what I find interesting about this list: They had various possiblities for the obligatory celebrity headshot that accompanies it. For example, they could have gone with a photo of Linda Ronstadt from the late 60s to mid-70s, when she was one of the most deliciously cute women ever. Scientology be damned -- she was the only L. Ron I could ever get into worshipping. But instead, they went with rock instrumentalist Satriani, who's only really a cult hero to guitar shredders.

It raises the interesting proposition that 24 Hours may in fact be published from an alternate universe in which good ol' Satch's technical wizardry somehow made him an internationally known superstar -- or, at least, more of a household name than that dork from 90210 and that big blonde cougar who inexplicably hooked up with Flavor Flav on The Surreal Life 3.