They oughta call it Philtrum Break

It's a scientific fact: Prison Break's Wentworth Miller is the hottest new hunk on television.

And yet, something odd is afoot here. For instance, I noticed a few weeks back he was the eye candy in a Mariah Carey video. But tonight, I noticed something almost as disturbing. Look really closely at that upper lip. Why, is that ... yes! It looks like a very small scar from a very well-repaired cleft palate.

Co-star Stacy Keach has one too. That's why he's worn the mustache since his Mike Hammer days. What's next? I wondered on an online forum. Is Joaquin Phoenix going to show up next in a cameo?

An answer came quickly: "Johnny Cash does sing for inmates...."

Of course: A Walk the Line crossover. I wish I'd thought of that. Well, I'm at least going to go ahead and officially dub our hero's complex escape plan a harelip-brained scheme.

QUIPMASTER!