Monday, May 15, 2006

Insert "Peter Lynn"; "old forum post"; "new blog entry"

In lieu of new content today, here's a series of five-year-old forum posts that I ran across the other day:

From: Peter Lynn
Date: Thu Sep 13, 2001 9:01 pm
Subject: Maybe I really am too picky, but...

…It annoyed me to sit and listen to my managing editor
use "impact" as a verb. He should know better than that.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Scott Feenstra"
Date: Thu Sep 13, 2001 10:10 pm
Subject: Re: Maybe I really am too picky, but...

It annoyed me to sit and listen to ___________ use ____________ as a
___________. He should know better than that.

- Peter
- his thoughts
- post to this forum

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Peter Lynn
Date: Fri Sep 14, 2001 4:48 pm
Subject: Re: Maybe I really am too picky, but...

--- Scott Feenstra wrote:
> It annoyed me to sit and listen to ___________ use
> ____________ as a
> ___________. He should know better than that.


- Mark McGuire
- the World Trade Center bombing
- excuse to halt Major League Baseball play and prevent Barry Bonds from breaking his home-run record

- every other lazy player of Major League Baseball
- the World Trade Center bombing
- excuse not to play Major League Baseball

- Ben Affleck
- attack on America
- way to boost sagging rentals of "Pearl Harbor"

- Banting and, to a lesser extent, Best
- insulin
- way to treat diabetes

- Lee Harvey Oswald
- President John F. Kennedy
- place to store his bullets

- the Honky-Tonk Man
- a shot to the head with his guitar
- way to unfairly steal the Intercontinental championship from Ricky "the Dragon" Steamboat

- My grandpa
- The phrase "From hell's heart, I stab at thee!"
- The handwritten greeting on my birthday card

- John Denver
- The World Trade Center
- The finish line of his thrilling airplane race with JFK Jr.

- Victorian gentleman John Merrick
- "The Elephant Man"
- nickname, when he wasn't really even all that overweight

- Eric Stoltz
- "Mask"
- title for a drama about a facially deformed teen when I just wanted to kick back and enjoy the Jim Carrey comedy I thought I was renting

- "Hogan's Heroes" star Bob Crane
- his untimely murder
- reason to stop making the amateur gay pornography I so love

- Jesus Christ, the King of Kings
- a painful death by execution
- way to expiate the sins of man

- that old man on the subway
- his blindness
- tearful reason I shouldn't take his wallet and whip him with a broken car antenna

- Wilson from "Home Improvement"
- a fence
- adequate substitute for the Witness Relocation Program after providing the testimony that put John Gotti away

- my stepfather
- back and buttocks
- place to put out cigarettes

- Rev. Jesse Jackson
- Civil Rights Act of 1964
- excuse to vote and drink out of the same water fountain as I do

- Scott's cousin with Down Syndrome
- The word "was"
- means of indicating the subjunctive mood

- the teenage runaway I picked up hitch-hiking
- combination of pain, fear, and hunger
- his only companion after I locked him in the old well out back

- Sen. Edward "Ted" Kennedy (D-Mass.)
- the constant harvest of healthy livers from Indonesian children
- excuse not to give up the bottle

- Scott Feenstra
- mad-libs
- method of "dissin'" me

10 Comments:

Anonymous Josh said...

I think the perfect word to describe these is "cute." Simply, cute.

5/15/2006 05:19:00 PM  
Anonymous Ken said...

Hahaha... Scott's last name reminds me of the Latin word for window. Way to suck, Scott.

5/15/2006 06:36:00 PM  
Blogger Dickolas Wang said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5/15/2006 08:11:00 PM  
Blogger Dickolas Wang said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5/15/2006 08:12:00 PM  
Blogger Dickolas Wang said...

Upon closer examination, I'm amazed at your gumption in making a John-Denver-and-JFK-Jr.-crashing-their-planes-into-the-WTC joke three days after the fact.

(That took me three tries to get right, and I botched the word verification on one of those tries.)

5/15/2006 08:14:00 PM  
Blogger Peter Lynn said...

I was horrified by the terrorist attacks, but it didn't keep me from making jokes about them the very same day.

5/16/2006 09:21:00 AM  
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