More things I shouldn't have said

• "Chris gave me a titty-twister so bad I'm lactating."
  
  
• "Maybe you girls think you know a lot about raising your kids, but when mine need to be punished, I'm just going to lock them in a giant hamster ball like David Blaine. 'Get into the Sphere of Discipline!'"
  
  
• "Man, I just had a rough time on the can. I thought I was going to have to get Bobby Brown to come over and pull a dookie bubble out."