World's greatest grandparents

A couple of items in the news today about two old Canadian icons -- folks who were inducted into the Order of Canada together, as a matter of fact -- and two people I might well have chosen as grandparents, had I had any say in the matter.

First, a nice story in Slate about sex educator Sue Johanson, whom I've had the pleasure of hearing speak on a couple of occasions. She's apparently replaced Dr. Ruth as the premiere geriatric sex expert on American television, thanks to her new show on the Oxygen network. Although you don't want to picture how she knows all this sex stuff, her frankness and eagerness to share her knowledge is just so darned cute. (I recently saw her make David Letterman turn beet-red and get tongue-tied during an interview. It was hilarious.) She's a national treasure, and she'd make a great grandma full of all kinds of useful advice for the boudoir.

On a sadder note, wrestling legend Stu Hart died today at age 88. Honestly, I kind of wish he'd died earlier, as the last few years have not been kind to the Hart family. Since 1990, he's lost his sons Dean and Owen, his son-in-law Davey Boy Smith, and his wife Helen, and the family has been torn apart by divorces and infighting surrounding the infamous Montreal Screwjob and Owen's tragic death. There seems to be something of a curse surrounding the Harts, considering all the fatal drug addictions (see: Davey Boy Smith, Brian Pillman), crippling injuries (see: Bret Hart, Dynamite Kid), and general tragedy that follows them. But in happier times, it would have been cool (if a little scary) to have him as a grandpa and to soak up all the devious wrestling techniques with which he used to torture wrestling trainees in the infamous Hart Dungeon. Even as an octogenarian, the guy was capable of crippling you permanently with one of those arcane old holds.

Imagine the possibilities of having Sue and Stu as grandparents and learning at their knee. You'd become a seasoned expert in both sex and violence.