Like a bat out of hell, I'll be going when the morning comes

I was ruminating over the recent bathroom talk, and thought of the best song to provide the soundtrack to a big, dirty dump: Meat Loaf's "Bat out of Hell".

You know Meat Loaf must have done some damage back in the day when he was over 300 pounds, had a caterer backstage at his beck and call, and was full of drugs that must have wreaked havoc on his digestive tract. When he trashed a hotel room, you know he started in the bathroom.

And whether you want to think the song is about some guy crashing his motorbike and dying in the hot sun or that it's about simply taking a violent, transcendent crap, it somehow works. Breaking out of my body and flying away / Like a bat out of hell / Oh, like a bat outta hell! They're both desperate situations that call for epic, Jim-Steinman-composed rock-and-roll melodrama. Plus, Todd Rundgren's motorcycle guitar riffs kind of sound like farting. And at just under 10 minutes, the song's long enough to give you the time you need.