Breaking up is hard to dooby-dooby-do

I may have been too modest to mention it, but I happen to be the world's foremost expert on getting dumped by a certain girl I dated long ago who I'll call M----.* Over my university career, I distilled it to a science:

1. Roll eyes.
2. Throw up hands.
3. Exclaim "Again?!" in exasperated tone.
4. Stalk out.

Repeat as necessary.

Well, it would seem that the guy she recently broke up with could stand to learn a few tricks of the trade, as he went about it all wrong. The below is excerpted from an e-mail her friend sent me:

Did you hear about V----? How he cried on her voicemail....which was really sad, drove over to her house got on his hands and knees and begged her to take him back, then took off on his motorcycle and wiped out at the end of her street and had to go back to M----'s and peed himself. He needs to learn the art of being dumped by M----.

Wow. If only he'd threatened suicide and thrown up, he would at least have perfected the art of totally humiliating himself.


* For those keeping track, she appeared previously in my "Aristocrats" post along with the mentioned friend.