Saturday, December 03, 2005

A trick for you to try

Students and underachievers who still live in shared housing: Here's a trick you can pull with your housemates. I'd try it myself, but now that my only remaining housemates are Brain-Damaged Toula and that phantom guy who lives upstairs but is hardly ever home, it probably wouldn't work.

The next time you bring someone to your house who hasn't ever been there before, turn around at the front door and say, "One last thing: My housemates think I'm an English exchange student. Play along, okay?"

When you get inside, do the absolute worst Cockney accent possible.* Make up your own rhyming slang. Lapse into an Australian accent and slang from time to time. Of course, your housemates have been briefed on this beforehand and are playing along. Have one of them ask if you're going home for the upcoming holidays, and make sure your answer includes a holiday itinerary that reveals a woeful ignorance of British geography and custom.

Almost certainly, your guest will be utterly aghast at your housemates' apparent inability to see through your poor ruse, but, having been taken into your confidence, will be honour-bound to play along with the fiction.

*If you're actually English, use a Brooklyn accent instead.

4 Comments:

Blogger SamuraiFrog said...

For some reason I just got "Chim Chim Cheree" in my head. Worst. Cockney. Accent. Ever.

Or the worst ever might have been one of those "cor, blimey, guv" companions on "Doctor Who." I want to say Dodo...

12/04/2005 09:30:00 AM  
Blogger N said...

Here is an excellent phrase you can use to effect this prank:

"Gor crikey!"

12/04/2005 02:26:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You could take inspiration from Don Cheadle's hilariously bad turn in Ocean's 11. And don't forget to use Petey's only permitted piece of cockney rhyming slang: having a tommy.

12/06/2005 08:44:00 AM  
Blogger Peter Lynn said...

What other piece of rhyming slang would I ever have cause to use?

The bit I loved about Don Cheadle was how unjustifably appalled he was that no one understood his nonsensical jibber-jabber.

12/06/2005 07:36:00 PM  

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