Tuesday, January 03, 2006

She is Spartacus II

The end of Janet's account of her first Girl Guide revolt clearly set up a sequel. Here, now, is the story of that second uprising.
Well, the second girl guide revolt happened at a 'Girl Guide Sleepover'. I never really understood the purpose of these sleepovers. It always happened at either a church in Huttonville, or in Brampton. We were always told to bring sleeping bags and a pillow and a change of clean underwear. This clean underwear was a major hang-up for one of the leaders. In fact, she concoted some story that if you don't change your underwear you will get 'crotch rotch'. First off, to my knowledge everyone changed their underwear, as we were girls, not boys and tended to favour good hygiene. But this one leader told us that our crotches could get infected, turn black, and bits would fall off. Clearly, the woman was sick. Anyway, so here we all were- approximately 40 girl guides in this dank musty church basement. After the sing-a-longs, prayers, and barfy 'friendship tea' which i'm certain was piss with a sprinkle of cinnamon in it we were told to get to bed. Everyone got into their sleeping bags and tried to sleep. I couldn't. Maybe it was the piss tea, or maybe it was the chatter and the drunken laughter coming from the church kitchen. From where I was situated, I got a clear view of the leaders in the kitchen. They were eating chips, cookies and chocolate and drinking something that looked very much like Rye. That night I had a cold hot dog and the 'friendship tea', so naturally, I was enraged. I whispered to the girl next to me that I was going to go to the bathroom and get some air. As I was getting up, I suddenly thought how funny it would be to stage another revolt. I sat back down and whispered to the girl next to me to tell the person next to her and so on, to meet in the bathroom. As I slithered out the door I looked back and saw the message being passed to all of the guides in the room. At first no one moved. Then suddenly one brave girl crawled towards the door, then another, then another, and before I knew it, the room was emptying out. We broke the lock that led into the main church area and headed towards the belfry. We didn't know where the washroom was, so the belfry was a good a place as any to hang out.

So there we all were -- 40 of us, in our Scooby Doo and Smurf pajamas smoking cigarettes that one girl pulled out of her pocket, shivering, hanging out in the belfry and stairway. As with the other revolt we got to work practicing our spitting and swearing and 3 girls were busy engaging in a slapping fight. It was a great time. Unfortunately, we were a little noisy and the church was in a residential area, and before we knew it, the leaders were running out of the church onto the lawn and screaming at us. Supposedly a neighbour had called, or shown up at the church.

We were in big trouble.

After everyone had returned to the church basement we were forced to sit up all night with the lights on and discuss God, Jesus, and the Virgin Mary. Another round of friendship tea was forced on us, and a lecture on self-control from the minister who showed up first thing in the morning. Again, no one told the leaders that I had staged the mini-revolt, but I was beginning to get the feeling that they suspected me and the one black girl in the group (who was entirely innocent). After all, I wasn't blonde, happy, or friendly, and my badge sash was the saddest thing anyone ever saw.

The next and final revolt (as I got kicked out of Guides for that one) occurred a few months later at camp. It involves a three fingered retarded boy and draining a pond.

1 Comments:

Blogger Steve Ely said...

What a promising cliffhanger.

1/03/2006 06:35:00 PM  

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