More of my doppelgängers

A few weeks back, I had a look at some celebrities that I've been said to resemble. It could have been worse, all in all. My sister went to that website MyHeritage.com and while she was getting some good results such as Cybill Shepherd, it was also claiming she looked like Robert Loggia or something ridiculous like that. Looking back on it, I forgot a few of my doppelgängers. Here are some others.

If you had to compare me to someone who spends most of his time with his face covered by a hockey goaltender's mask, you could probably do worse than to say I have a face like Robert Esche of the Philadephia Flyers (at right), the stature of Arturs Irbe of the Latvian national team, and, depending on how the workday is going, the temperament of Jason Voorhees of Camp Crystal Lake.

Speaking of the sports world, Scott's wife Marlene thinks I look like TSN anchor James Duthie. I don't have much to say about this. Instead, I'll recap some of Marlene's own celebrity doppelgängers, and provide some pictures (all links are work-safe, honestly):

• Movie star Elizabeth Taylor
• Movie star Vivien Leigh
• Actress Kristina Anapau
• Adult film actress Sabina Black
• Tennis player Rafael Nadal

As you can see, Scott did okay for himself, if you don't count the last one. Or even if you do, really. Rafael Nadal's not a bad-looking dude once you get past the hooting O-face.

A guy asked me this week, "Has anyone ever told you you look like one of the kids on American Idol?" No one had. I asked which one. He couldn't remember. "Just go to the website," he said. "You'll see it right away." I went to the official website that night. I didn't see it at all. The next day, I asked him which one again. "Kevin," he said. I went to the website again. What in the hell in the world?! This little weiner to the right is Kevin Covais, my supposed double. Naturally, I confronted my accuser, red-faced with fury. "He doesn't look like you now," he explained. "He just looks like what you might have looked when you were younger.

I assure you, I did not look like this when I was younger. For one thing, I didn't have a combed-forward Julius Caesar haircut, the unconvincing new style of choice for the prematurely balding. It's the new combover. How can a 16-year-old kid require this? For another, I didn't wear glasses until university. (And let me beat Scott to this: When wearing my giant glasses then, my celebrity doppelgänger was Milton Berle.) But I didn't wear them in high school. SamuraiFrog says his girlfriend Becca says he looks like Brainy Smurf. This is an insightful and correct observation. Hear that? Kevin Covais is not my celebrity doppelgänger. Kevin Covais is Brainy Smurf's celebrity doppelgänger.

I don't remember who said I looked like Anthony Michael Hall. I can't even remember when it was said. But I do remember that someone did say it. Step forward, whoever said I look like Farmer Ted, and know that you're on notice. That said, this is the hair I had when I was in high school. Not like the lid on that Kevin Covais nerd.

Also, when I was looking up pictures of Anthony Michael Hall, I learned that even he doesn't look like Anthony Michael Hall anymore. He now looks like some twisted cross between Jay Mohr and Brett Hull or something.

I do know who said I now "look like a full-sized Verne Troyer" even though he hid behind an anonymous comment.

That is not cool, Tyler. Not cool at all.